Falling for a Redneck
By Eve Langlais
So this is the second story in a row that simply hasn't worked for me. And not just random stories, but things that should have worked. I don't know if I'm heading into a slump or it's just awful luck for this weekend, but whatever it is, I hope it straightens out PDQ.
Be forewarned, there WILL be spoilers and ranting.
So generally speaking, even if Eve Langlais books don't make my top favorites list, I can at least count on solid enjoyment. This is in fact the first book of hers that was completely wrong for me. It should have been right dang it. We have an uptight, germaphobe, white collar woman, and an earthy blue collar guy with two adorable plot-moppets to melt her icy facade. But this reprint should have stayed safely in the past.
From this point on there will be spoilers and rants, feel free to skip out, but if you haven't read anything by Eve Langlais, skip this book and try her Freakn' Shifters (ignore the horrible apostrophe usage) or Furry United Coalition (yes that does spell FUC). Both of them are full of humor, whimsy, and sexy times.
So, we start out meeting Marissa, the pro-Domme, in full regalia in a session. Except this isn't her kink, it's a job she does so she can punish men and vent her anger at all men over the horrible way her ex-husband treated her. So yeah, we have another BDSM practitioner doing it in lieu of therapy, a trope I quite despise. It actually gets worse though because her former therapist is the person who turned her onto it. So, yeah, that happened. And then she doesn't even own it, she's all conflicted over it. Enter the sexy redneck Dirk and his adorable plot moppets. I settle in thinking alright, this is working for me. I'm even getting into the mystery of Marissa's stalker. And I'm especially enjoying getting to know Dirk and seeing him as a person and his back story unfold. Then WHAM, another trope/comment I abhor. Marrisa refers to her pro-Domme activities as "...as bad as prostitution". Literally, WTF? First off, that's just an awfully denigrating way to think about or write about prostitutes. Considering prostitutes as " bad" is just not something I can condone. There's plenty of ways to think about prostitutes (and that's definitely a debate for another time), but that dismissive horrified line of thought is one that just pisses me the hell off. And secondly, if you aren't having sexual contact with a human being for money (which she wasn't), then it isn't prostitution. It's a service right up there with paying for massage, hair cuts, or spa services. Yes it's a little out of mainstream for the general population, but it still isn't sex for money. So she's going to quit because she's tired of it anyway, and her anger's all cured by the love and care from her redneck and his magical peen. That's a little bit of magical thinking, but I tend to accept it in romancelandia. Whatever, on with the story. So Dirk takes her to his parents house to be safe from the stalker. It's a farm, which makes for some fairly funny scenes. We get to find out plenty more about Dirk and his kids, and both he and Marissa really open up. The plot moppets' bio-mom even breezes in giving Dirk closure and forcing both of them to confront their feelings for each other, and then conveniently breezes right out with no real repercussions or consequences. So Dirk and Marissa head back to real life, and she's figured out her stalker is actually one of her now-former client's wife. She sets up one last appointment with the man to lure his wife in, and this part I actually did like, she talks the wife down and teaches her to dominate her husband as he likes to be dominated. Those two go home a happier and kinkier couple. Then Marissa finally confesses to Dirk that all her angst and anger came from the fact she had cervical cancer which resulted in a hysterectomy, and that her husband knocked someone else else up and left her. Yes, that's very miserable, but Dirk is a sweetie who explains she's not half a woman, she's the other half of his heart. They get married and our formerly very starched and buttoned up clean freak doesn't even freak over the handprints the plot moppets leave on her wedding dress. It's sweet.
Now, if that were the end of it, at least it would have been a high note. Still not a great or even good story, but a high note. But of course I wasn't that lucky, we then have the epilogue from hell. A year later they wake up and find a freaking baby on their doorstep. The plot moppets' bio-mom has popped out another kid and left it on their doorstep as a belated wedding present. WTF?!?! I guess someone must think that's a happy ending of massive wish fulfillment proportions. But personally, I just found it creepy and weird.
I think what frustrated me so much, is that there was the bones of a great story in there. And Dirk and his backstory were just excellent. He's one of my favorite heroes so far this year. I actually kind of even liked Marissa. But the story around them just completely irked the hell out of me. How on earth does an author even write characters I like in a story I can't stand? There's some sort of voodoo going on here, but I'm still giving this story 1 star.
The Immortal Who Loved Me
by Lynsay Sands
I am absolutely flabbergasted. If I were talking instead of writing, I would be practically speechless. We're up to book 21 in the Argeneau series, and while Sands has at times struggled to remain fresh and coherent, it has still been an enjoyable series. But this book? I had problems with this book. Don't even bother reading if you don't want spoilers, because that is all I am going to be doing here.
The book starts off kind of novel, lots of drama and violence, and Stephanie (the teen Edentate i.e. vampire without fangs who isn't crazy from previous books) is the heir apparent in finding life mates. And this time, instead of maneuvering, Stephanie is very up front, hey vampires are real and this is your life mate, this is what a vampire is, all of that, it is right out in the open. Consequently, I think a new reader could actually start here, which is unusual for such a long running series. Everything was going along fairly smoothly, and while Sherry and Basil's chemistry wasn't the best (nothing like Basil's bother Lucien and his lifemate Leigh) I was enjoying this more than the previous couple of books, and then we hit the first speed bump: the hero Basil, has been having babies every 100 years or so over the past 3000 years with a friend of his, and as recently 25 years ago. Ok, that threw me for a loop. But he explained and while I was still not precisely thrilled with it, I understood his motivations, life is boring and they found having children fulfilling. So on we went. Then we got closer to the end and we started realizing Sherry had been controlled by a vampire her entire life. Turns out her father, while an effed up drunken immortal 19 year old, used mild mind control to convince Sherry's happily married mother to have sex with him. Later he found Sherry's mother in a hospital after she tried to kill herself over a pregnancy from an infidelity she couldn't understand, and he used mind control on them to try to fix his mistake and he stuck around. When Sherry's parents eventually divorced, he stepped in as an uncle. As Sherry aged, he wiped his image from her mind to show back up as her best friend. Later he did it again and got her to hire him for her new business. And all the while wen she went off the rails, so to speak, he would control her or wipe her mind to "fix" things. Naturally, Sherry was completely devastated and righteously angered. But then Elvi, who seemed a reasonable and sensible person in her own book, turned into a sociopath and explained how what Sherry's sperm donor did was alright because mortal parents would do it if they could, and the rape really wasn't that bad because it wasn't a violent violation. WTF? Then Basha (from a previous book also) finally had to/got to kill her own son Leo, who is the true villain of this current story arc. And Sherry realized everything is hunky dory and she looks to go rescue her dad from the horrific punishment he is due (violent though the punishment was, it seemed like an appropriate one to me). Sherry and Basil admit their love, they find out Sherry's paternal grandfather will be showing up, and the book basically ends.
So basically, I am not at all pleased with this book. I am not pleased with the way this book handles consent, and I am not pleased with this lopped off ending. I honestly don't know if I am finished with this series, but unless something spectacular is happening in the next book I am doubtful I will continue. I am sorry to say, but this story has negatively colored the entire series for me. No rating from me, only disappointment.
Viper Game
by Christine Feehan
WTF did I just read? No really, WTF? The first chapter or so, I kind of heaved a sigh of relief, I could maybe put this series down. This is almost a spin-off of the spin-off of the series. She's introducing new characters all the time without finishing the ones we already have. And the evolution of the powers and manipulations have become more and more off the wall. I don't think I have really LOVED this series since Deadly Game and Conspiracy Game (books 4&5 which I went back and re-read those two this weekend and I still love them).We're on book 11 now, and all I can say is WTF you guys.
We have viper assassin toddlers, y'all. I'm not even playing with you, so let me say it again y'all - VIPER ASSASSIN TODDLERS. I could probably just stop right there, but that isn't the end of the WTF-ery. We also have a heroine who is addicted to sex, but the hero can temporarily "cure" her if she gives him blow jobs. Yep, so that happened, and it gave Feehan a reason to amp up the whole why are they even having sex during this TSTL moment? We also have a man who can walk THROUGH walls, and mutant zombie cyborgs. Yep, that happened too. Furthermore, there was virtually no cohesion with the rest of the series or past characters, just a whole bunch of sequel bait potential heroes. And Whitney's reach has just grown unbelievably vast and his scope so psychotic that I am just waiting to find out that he is being controlled by Xavier, Xaviero, and/or Xavyion, and that the animals he spliced into the Gostwalker genes are actually from the leopards or werewolves, and that Zenith is based off vampire blood. It is THAT crazy.
Unfortunately, for me, I literally could not put this down, and the sequel bait totally worked, because I really must read the next book to see what she pulls out of her hat next. So yeah, I am still in, but I am not exactly happy about it, nor is it for any really good reason.
